Road less traveled

I know in the past that I had mentioned that monthly traveling for work looked like it was on hold for awhile, well as it turns out it became permanent. It's too bad really, yes I did want a break from trailer living but it's hard to give up a disposable income for barely enough to survive. So here I am trying to relearn to budget and manage on a third of what was. For seven years despite my complaining about the chaos of travel life I did love seeing and exploring the many places the job took us, I will miss it. It's now been nearly eight months and I have had the chance to try my hand at new things. In April I decided once again to try my hand as chicken wrangler, gardener, and food preserver. It has been a pleasure to try all these new ventures, well old but dusted off, ventures anyway. With all the changes in lifestyle it has gotten me thinking that this current blog may not be right for me any longer and starting a new one that is more for the green thumb, canning/jelly making, chicken wrangler might be in order. In time we shall see. I have had many trials already and wished that I had taken the time to write them down. Maybe in doing so I would not only learn from my mistakes and have reminders that the things I have tried didn't always work, but also have those of you who do read my humble blog may have the opportunity to see what others have tried and have the chance by being better informed to not make the same mistakes. Even if I do decided that I want to start a new blog I will more than likely keep this one as I still have my crazy furry "kids" and we do still travel, while the road trips are now limited to the river rather than six hundred miles each time there is always an interesting story, never a dull trip with my kiddies.

Desperate to travel?

I have spent the better part of the last eight years on the road, I have learned to life out of suitcases and microwave meals, up until now the only other stint of down time was four years ago and that lasted six months. Back then I was desperate to hit the road, didn't matter where as long as there was a job. It was where I wanted to be, the adventure, the anticipation of not knowing what it might bring. Whether it might a be blown engine and being stuck along side of the road or plowing thru snow that seems endless holding my breath with every mile and every turn threatening to bring me and all my world to a cold and white nightmare, only to survive with spent nerves. It seemed like every month with the prospect of travel the child in me could hardly wait for what the road might hold. With each passing day I am actually thankful the phone call hasn't come to send us back out into the world. Don't get me wrong living on unemployment is no picnic, nor is not having insurance but that is a small price to pay for my happiness. I miss having my family around even if they drive me nuts more than I care to admit to myself, I missed walking out my door and hearing the whinny of a very eager horse, glad to see me not just because she wants fed but because she is happy to see me. I miss the beauty that surrounds me. When that call comes I have to ask myself can I let all that go again. For now I am glad I don't have to answer that question.

Frustrations in blogger land

So today I wanted to enter the world of my blog, it has been a year since I have touched or viewed it, needlessly to say with the new format and being out of touch my patience and nerves had reached breaking points when I finally gave it one more shot. And low and behold as one would say it worked with the last thing I tried. But of course it would always work with the last thing one tries. I realize of course its redundant to repeat oneself but I never thought that something as simple as signing into an account would be so stressful, if you must ask yes I even have all the information written down, but I neglected to double check that I was inputting the correct information. Hindsight I probably should have checked, so now that I have maybe it will inspire me to check-in more often then a few times a year. It is a New Year and many things to come, well hopefully anyway.

Back to Normal

Here it is a new year and I have already had an epiphany. I have for at least the last few years traveled to many places but somehow always ending back here in Nevada, a state that I DO NOT like, I hate the desert, no trees, no water besides the few odd streams that here they call rivers and everywhere one looks sage brush. Some how even with me kicking and screaming Nevada has gotten under my skin, she feels like home. I would welcome any place other than here to call home but no it had to be Nevada.
We are barely into winter most days temperatures reaching the mid 20's, no snow and living in a tin can that hates cold itself. The constant ice removal from the door just to get to the outside world, not that I want to venture out, I wouldn't if I didn't have my "kids". I very much hate my tin can and yet never leave it.
Why must a place I hate be a place that feels right?
Maybe one day I can call a beautiful green meadow with a lake and trees home, but for now it mountain desert.

Sad Birthday

Here it is the eve of my 33rd birthday and I have made a heart breaking decision about my much loved boy, I had so wished it would not have been so soon nor on a day that is meant to celebrate life. I know it will be a day both happy and sad. As I sit here and stare into his watchful eyes I know it will be the last few hours, I can barely breath. Why must this be so hard?
I know we as pet owners tend to humanize the fur balls, as a woman who cannot have the two legged version I put everything I have into them. It feels as if I am giving up, but is it really fair to watch him slowly melt into a hallow shell of his former self. How can I for my own selfishness allow him to slowly die because I cannot bring myself to do the kind thing. I see him on his bad days pleading me to make it better and I know there is nothing that can be done but hold him and make him as comfortable as I can.
As much as I should take comfort in the knowledge that his pain will soon be over, I cannot. I hope that one day I can forgive myself.

The "hard" facts of life

Nearly two months after my trouble maker "son" got into and subsequently ate an unknown amount of a brand new bottle of Gorilla Glue I am faced with the tough decision. I kick myself for not taking more care into where I place things. I have to admit that I haven't been proactive in a treatment plan, I just now have been curious as to what treatment if any are available for such ingestion. Treatment is only one; surgery.
I suppose I need to explain that while most pet owners would have immediately taken their sickly fur covered family member to the doctor. I dismissed the notion; as nearly on a daily basis the fur ball gets into anything and everything no matter what preventative measures I take to ensure it is safe from his reach, so to speak. He has eaten so many things I just couldn't imagine that his glue incident would be any different. It would appear that while 99% of the time my reaction to him eating yet another thing he shouldn't would have been accurate, but as he continues to slowly lose weight, vomiting varies from none to all day long, his ever changing appetite I see now that I should have been more concerned and taken him to the doctor. However knowing now that the only option is an extremely costly surgery, which I can't possibly afford I am left with two very painful options watch my boy slowly die or be merciful and put him down so he is no longer suffering. Two choices with the same outcome.
A tough lesson to learn and the loss of a beloved pet; it is hard to put into words the regret, the frustration and the sheer helplessness I am feeling.

Puppy Living

It has been a week of new life for three very precocious squirmy bundles. Not quite ready to see or hear the world they are still eager to explore every inch they can, with constant vigilance from Bear they are growing fast in size, independence and curiosity.
I had no intentions of raising pups in our little trailer, but life rarely has what you want in its list of considerations when it decides to guide you down the path to the future. So here we are bumbling down the road together, I do hope I will be prepared for whatever happens next, but if not I have learned to go with it. Much of living on the road has proven that you just have to go with it.
As excited as I am to be going through this I am grateful that week one is far behind us. Mommy during that first week was no fun, I know I didn't sleep for the first Seventy-two hours; if I did manage any sleep it was done by power napping. As I mentioned before this was a complete surprise so there was no way to be prepared for anything, that included that Bear was going to have the runs. BAD! I am still cleaning up places I missed the day we left them home alone. But to be fair I knew that I probably would have to do some cleaning up, I wasn't prepared for just how much. I now have in my staple for doggie care a hefty supply of wipes, yes they are getting used, I think I've already gone through one hundred or so out of a 300 pack.
I have managed well thus far no grey hair or hair loss, so there is a plus; but I still have at least seven weeks of anything goes.