Frustrations

While living in my trailer is quite boring, I do try to find things to occupy my time so the days don't feel like they are never ending. Lately I have been trying to do all the legwork for my grandmother, so that not only she but that family as well, have an up-to-date family tree and address book. I have spent many, many late nights trying to find those who are family and ask for their information, while I have had some success for the most part I have fallen short. I am not sure if it that they just don't feel like replying or they just think I'm some nut trying to get info on them. Either way my efforts are falling on deaf ears.

Not that I'm really complaining, well I guess I am, why must it be so difficult to do something so selfless and take care of the things that mean a great deal to those whom you care greatly for. She (my grandmother) has given of herself for almost 90 years to all who she would call family and friends. She has never asked or wanted help from anyone, maybe it was the era that she was raised, that the woman must take care of the family and household. But now, due to a recent stroke that has taken part of her and her spirit, how can I not want to give her something. She has for many years sent letters, cards well wishes to all she meets, I somehow feel that in some way I am keeping that alive for her even if I am the one doing it. It gives her pleasure knowing that this simple card giving, while to many is outdated thanks to the Internet, is in some small way letting each person that card so lovingly has been sent to, lets them know that yes, there is someone out there that thinks of me and wants me to know that I am loved.

I have been shouldering this burden for 5 months now, even though this is not what I wanted to do in the beginning I knew that it was for her that I was doing it not for me. Knowing that I boxed up my selfishness and chose to give a little of myself for something that is hers and continue sending those little reminders that you are still loved and not forgotten.

How I wish, that there were more out there in the world that gave a moment of the day to someone that just might need that reminder. I know that we are here in this world for better or worse to impact the people we meet and share our lives with.

Yesterday is history

Tomorrow is a mystery

Today is a gift

Those words are so true, how can we not take the time and share a moment of our time with those who are important.