A few day ago I had a major brain overload and I sat down and wrote it all so I could share my thoughts and frustrations, however due to computer problems I lost it all even though I worked on it and finished it, all my ramblings, finally became a cohesive thought, quite suddenly all of it made perfect since. I do believe I finally managed to understand myself better and see different points of view in my own work, so maybe it was a good thing that I lost all that i wrote so I could start fresh without the reminder.
So, now that I have had this euphony, I see more than ever that while family is important and we should NEVER allow the little things to pile up and destroy everything, there are in rare cases when you MUST not allow some behaviors to manifest into something unmanageable, its too bad that it has to come down when you have to say enough is enough and remove those from your life. It is never easy to make those choices, but I suppose if their behavior is out of control then you need to do whats best for you.
While I don't support isolating yourself and removing yourself from whatever salvageable relationship there is, I now understand that in some cases it is vital to your well being to sever all ties to those who are only there to destroy you if only for their own amusement. I definitely think that the decisions that you make affect everyone. Being one recipient if a crazy persons rants because they want to believe that they are not the cause for another's decision, is a strange thing to cope with. It messes with the psychic, it creates a dumbfounded numbness, almost like its not real and yet its devastatingly real. It begs the question, how did it get to this point, was there in the course of all of this that someone could have stopped this? An answer to this I may never have, but at least it can be cleared from my conscience. I can clearly say that whatever this turns into it was not and is not my fault.
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